Wasting Away in Margaritaville
Greetings friends!
My fall blog shared trips to Prague, cruising the Danube, and the English countryside.
But this year, less than a week after Judy and I celebrated 46 years together at Leonessa restaurant, a new storm blanketed Cape Cod with a huge snowfall and wild winds. We immediately lost power.
Now Judy likes being resourceful. She revisited her camping days traveling from her home in Ohio to the White Mountains (until she met me in 1979 who prefers comfort and hot tubs).
House Doctor
She performed many tricks last week with a candle under a flowerpot, sterno which she procured from her She Shack in our basement to heat soup, and a large fleece blanket of a wolf from Defenders of Wildlife to cover our windows – imagine waking up to that!
Since our warmest room in the old section of our 1820 home (they knew how to build in those days) only has one couch, Judy and I and Dolce, our poodle, had to position ourselves with the help of a couple of chairs to fit. Dolce, though only 7 lbs. stretches out a good distance as she lays on my feet – this time all the way up to my legs!
Divine Providence
After a couple of nights watching the thermostat go down to 50 I got up at 6:30 AM and drove to Hyannis. Finding a hotel that took a pet was impossible, but I have Jupiter in my 12th house which means “saved at the last minute” or “trust in Divine Providence.”
Therefore, while Judy frantically tried to find practical solutions like ordering 12 bundles of firewood (after we already left the house) I took a more optimistic view. I get by with a little help from my friends and making new ones too – like the lady at the front desk of our new hotel in Hyannis. By noontime the three of us entered our warm bungalow!
Changes in Attitudes, Changes in Latitudes
I really wasn’t thinking of Jimmy Buffet when I entered this new world of bright lights and coastal gaity but now I am praising him and singing my favorite Buffet tune:
Changing in Attitudes,
Changes in Latitudes…
Nothing remains quite the same.
In all of my running and all of my cunning.
If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.
I haven’t had a Margarita in years but when in Rome…how I wish I were in Rome.
The only good meal was a cheeseburger in paradise.
It is customary at this hotel to get a picture
with the giant sandal in the lobby. I was not too happy.
The highlight of our stay was a foot bath and massage
at the spa. Oo La La!
Homecoming
This winter we made changes to our home. The Spirit of our Home needed an uplift! By the last week of December we openned our home to twenty of our neighbors, new and old.
Two days later four of our friends visited and in the midst of our gathering our boiler decided to it was time to enter retirement. My friend, Sylvia, graciously invited us to come stay with her. We toasted the New Year together.
Looking back in my journal from early December when I joined a virtual centering prayer group. We were asked to chose a word. The word that came to me was “home.”
I journaled: I am seeking home in one sense by the changes we made in our house but also by holding close places that have been home past, present, and future.
Tea at the Murphy’s on Grand Avenue
Home is an aspect of my faith and the Christian journey, the artist’s way.
One of these homes I visited was on Grand Avenue in Falmouth Heights. In the early nineties
when I was brand new to Cape Cod, begining my practice as a pastoral counselor, I had the good fortune to meet Margaret Ann. She became a board member at Healthsigns and offered
me space in the house she owned nextdoor. Every week I saw clients she referred and led a woman’s spirituality group.
About eight years ago I began visiting Margaret for tea. Her sense of wonder, playfulness, and curiousity was contagious. We shared love of writing, music, woman’s spirituality, Boston and
Catholic pasts.
As time went on, as it has the habit of doing, her cognitive decline become more evident. Yet she never lost her verve for life.
As she became less inhibited the colors of her personality, what she desired to impart to the world, grew brighter. She had overcome the limits and expectations of her ethnicity, religion, and
gender. She loved sharing the stories of her evolution and expected her guests to do the same.
Her faith blossomed after she became active in Alanon: “I found God at the Stop and Shop” (where her Alanon meeting was held).
Our visits began with the healing runes. She’d pass me a velvet pouch and invite me to pick a rune. Then she’d ask me to read it out loud. It was so often something I needed to learn. We’d sit at her
dinning room table enjoying tea and cookies. Looking outside I saw her Sophia garden. Next to it she built a twelve step stone garden. Driving away from Grand Ave. I carried with me a bit
of hope and magic.
Two Sleepy People
My last visit was in the spring. Two of her six children were close by to keep watch. I sat across from her on her living room divan. A few times in the middle of our conversation she’d pause. Her
eyes would brighten as she sang to me in her beautiful soprano voice Hoagy Carmichael’s “Two Sleepy People.”
Here we are
In this cozy chair
Holding hands and yawning
Look how late it gets
Two sleepy people by dawn’s early light
Too much in love to say “Goodnight”
Sophia’s Garden
Margaret Ann Murphy
December 22, 1935 – October 20, 2025
A lifelong student with an insatiable appetite to learn, discover, examen, and question what others may take as accepted,
she thrived in discussions with other equally open-minded individuals. Be it a stranger or friend Margaret
gave her time, support and belief in all she met. She changed the trajectory of many lives.
Wearing her favorite color purple
at a Healthsigns fund raiser with Frankie.
16 Comments
pavia
So glad you got through the storm even if it took making yourself have a Margarita….(looked like a good one)…
I’m so sorry you lost your friend Margaret….
Congratulations on 46 years together, you two
and of COURSE you found a room for you & your beloved four paws (who could say no?)
Thank you for sharing some of your memorable moments with me/us….
May March bring a host of new challenges and adventures, which you always seem to find a way to embrace with humor and creativity.
Thanks for the song, my friends….I enjoyed it!
love, pavia. ♥️
Ierardi
Thanks for your good wishes, Pavia. It was a struggle imbibing that margarita!
Anne
Cindy
Thank you for the delightful belly laugh! You are always making lemonade from lemons. I love that! And also by your creative reflection, you make something so special out of the ordinary! Happy Anniversary to a very special couple!!
Ierardi
Glad to share the laughter, Cindy. Enough of storms and repairs! Spring is coming.
Priscilla W McCormick
Congratulations, Anne & Judy! I am sorry about the loss of your dear friend Margaret, but I think your new canine companion has similarly captured the hearts of many, As for the hotel you escaped to during Blizzard 2026, in your proverbial shoes, I could’ve endured a margarita better than a flip-flop selfie!
Ierardi
I agree – a couple more margaritas would have made the flip flops more bearable. Dolce steals the show everywhere she pracnces!
CLARA L SPARKS
Thank you for the delightful, uncategorized blog. It is hard to imagine being married for 46 years to the same person! I have 3 dead husbands. Hearty congratulations.
I enjoyed the story of you visiting Margaret at her dining room table. What an amazing person she was. She was lucky to have you in the beginning and then through her decline and end of life.
Two daughter caretakers in Squantum phoned me on different days and asked if I would visit their mothers, Cecilia, 94 years old who came to yoga class at the church when she was in her 80ies. and Doris, 93 who was on hospice and died last week. You can imagine how surprised I was when both women offered to drive me to the places where the mothers were being cared for. Being viewed as one needing transport is a new experience for me! Knocked my socks off. Another Squantum woman, Sally, 89, same age as myself, I see every Wednesday and Friday at her home. She has help 4 hours a day, every day. What a joy for me to be able to make visits, something I am passionate about. Another love I get to practice is accompanying the Sunday service when a substitute is needed.
I appreciate reading your story of dealing with your cold house in the power outage. It sounds aweful. I am glad Judy is a camper and the 3 of you got to the place in Hyannis. My power was out only 24 hours but I have a gas stove. The house temperature dropped to 55 but I had hot food. To me it felt like the olden days on the 3rd floor of my house in Malden growing up. There was never heat and water in a glass would freeze. Thank goodness for the oil stove in the kitchen. Look forward to seeing you in the spring. My love to you and Judy. Clara
Ierardi
The experience of 3 husbands is its own feat! I am not sure that 46 years to the same person is exactly the same as we keep changing – better or for worse! Great to hear from you and anticipate
our next retreat at the end of May. Visitation in ministry or not is a gift. Fortunate for the women you are visiting in Squantum. We never had a winter quite like this!
"Who, is Sylvia?"
My dear friends,
46 and each one is new! Lao Tzu said it best. “you cannot step into the same river twice.” Nothing is the same be it flower pots or heat source.
That is why we must savor each day for its newness, uniqueness.
Especially Sabbath.
I loved your most recent blog and was grateful to David, who dragged me here, S CREAMI N G and crying, so I could have a place in your home, your
heart and even your blog!
A bit un-traditional, I am sitting here in a well-lit, cozy closet, formerly one of David’s multiple receptacles for his vast and always fast-growing clothes peacock collections. A simple piece of formica serves as support and hiding place for an army of electronic gadgets–my office and launching pad for
Mssr. Roget (although a Brit) and his arsenal we call “vocabulary.”
“Our genesis” could be dated c.
Ierardi
Each day is unique – we don’t pause enough to see it and savor the gift. We are grateful to David
too for leading you to the wilds of Cape Cod and to us! I love cozy spaces too. I look for ways to expand my desk
to fit snugly in the alcove of my study behind a door which leads to the living room. All the rooms here have two or
more doors (except the rooms we added on).
“We shall not cease from exploration / And the end of all our exploring /
Will be to arrive where we started / And know the place for the first time.” T.S. Eliot
Joanne Hartunian
I love the duet! And had no idea the hotel was full service in the storm! You were led, as always.
And as always your words and use of language took us along with you through the blanketed winter blizzard on cape cod.
Joanne
Ierardi
Thanks for your kind words, Joanne. Language is one form of grace in trying times!
Yes the hotel provided lodging for Eversource trucks and workers that came from all over the US to help us out.
Joanne Delahanty
Congratulations to you and Judy! I wouldn’t be surprised if that Mars in Aries determination worked in your favor in finding a place to stay!
Ierardi
That’s absolutely right! Mars in Aries is the engine – the push – it may take a while in house 12!
Jane O’Hara Shields
47 years! Celebrating with you.
And so much happening with recent losses:
Your dear friend Margaret Ann with whom you were gifted a treasured friendship along with sacred time to renew that friendship before she died. The story touches my heart.
And the loss of power from the blizzard. We faced the same challenge- four days and nights.
Tell Judy that we too resorted to camping gear and experience. Now I believe I like your story better. In fact, why didn’t I think of finding resorting the way you did. Well done. Wish I had a photo next to a huge sandal!
And the 47 year duet sang so lovely a duet!
Thank you!
Ierardi
Thanks, Jane for your thoughtful response.
Next storm, you and Tom can hitch a ride down 6A and join us us at Margaritaville!